Une blague pour les anglophones.

J'ai reçu ceci sur mon E Mail.

The very first ever Blonde GUY joke..... And well worth the wait! An Irishman , a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building.'

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, 'Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too..'

The blonde opened his lunch and said, ' Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too.'

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishmans' wife was weeping. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!'
The Mexicans' wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much.'

(Oh this is GOOD!!)
Everyone turned and stared at the blondes' wife.. The blondes' wife said,
'Don't look at me.. The idiot makes his own lunch.'

LOOOOOOL

Sharisha

J'aime beaucoup la version male des blagues sur les blondes

Mouhahahahahahahaha

VIVES LES BLONDES ET LES BLONDS !!!!

Voila la suite. Celle la n'est pas mal.

... Robert Whiting, an
>> elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French
>> Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry
>> on. 'You have been to France before, monsieur?' the customs officer
>> asked sarcastically. Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France
>> previously. Then you should know enough to have your passport
>> ready.' The American said, ''The last time I was here, I didn't have
>> to show it. 'Impossible. Americans always have to show your
>> passports on arrival in France !' The American senior gave the
>> Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ''Well, When
>> I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this
>> country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to.'
>> You could have heard a pin drop

Celle la aussi.

A U.S. Navy Admiral was
>> attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U..S. ,
>> English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a tail
>> reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers
>> that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was
>> chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French
>> admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many
>> languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it
>> that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather
>> than speaking French?' Without hesitating, the American Admiral
>> replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and
>> Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.' You
>> could have heard a pin drop.

Loooool

Voila la citation d'un président US

C'est surtout pour Giddou.

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

Lyndon B. Johnson

Ca vaut le coup d'y penser....

trop lool tiens si on balance des sitation j'en ai une

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

I have a microwave fireplace in my house...The other night I relaxed in front of the fire for the evening in ten minutes

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering


a vous

Not bad Wod.

Pas mal du tout

Celle la est vraiment bonne.

Subject: Best Blonde Joke Ever




A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and
she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask
God for help.
She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I
don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win
the lotto."
Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it. She again prays... God!!,
please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going
to lose my car as well."
Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays...
"My God, why have You forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my
car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I have
always been a good servant to you. PLEASE let me win the lotto just this one
time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde
is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself...
"Sweetheart, work with Me on this........ Buy a ticket."

trop lol

Voici une autre. Je l'ai trouvée très bonne.

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.

The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes.
When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a
million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks
for 30 minutes. When she was finished the devil
informs her that cost is 6 million dollars, so Queen Elizabeth
writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he was finished the devil informed him that there would be no charge for the call and feel free to call the USA anytime.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA free.

The devil replied, "Since Obama became president of the USA , the country has gone to hell, so naturally it's a local call."

Mouhahahahaha. Looool.

Lol pas mal celle la j'avoue

Avant même d'avoir lu la fin je me doutais de la réponse :p

lu je ne sais plus ou sur internet il y a quelque temps je ne sais pas si c'est vrai mais si c'est vrai mdr Shwarzy tu seras toujours mon idole:

« To the Members of the California State Assembly :
I am returning Assembly Bill 1176 without my signature.

For some time now I have lamented the fact that major issues are overlooked while many
unnecessary bills come to me for consideration. Water reform, prison reform, and health
care are major issues my Administration has brought to the table, but the Legislature just
kicks the can down the alley.

Yet another legislative year has come and gone without the major reforms Californians
overwhelmingly deserve. In light of this, and after careful consideration, I believe it is
unnecessary to sign this measure at this time. »

Sincerely,
Arnold Schwarzenegger







(lisez la premiere lettre de chaque ligne )

Comme je disais sur un autre post, Celwynnnn on t'aimeuuuuuuh...

Excellent

mdr j'aime !! comme celwyn

The pastor asked if any one in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said,"I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his
scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.

She continued, "Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed
as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the Congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim.

She continued, "Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctor's say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if any one else had anything to say.



A man rose and walked to the podium. He said, "I'm Jim and I want to tell my wife, ONCE AGAIN, the word is STERNUM!

A woman was waiting for a bus.
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Kentuckian who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, 'How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!'

The Kentuckian smiled and drawled, 'Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends.'




ahaha, bon allez je met plus rien pour aujourd'hui